Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
