Buhtt sex?
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize