make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
