you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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