If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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