weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
you told grandpa to call you daddy
We are two peas in an std pod
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
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