Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize