There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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