Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
