belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
