it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
he shaved USA in his pubs
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
