there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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