I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
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I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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