I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
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Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
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I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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