someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
