My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
