I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize