I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I checked into jail on foursquare
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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