Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
