Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
