We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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