he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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