bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
