Well apparently he's into motor boating.
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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