Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
