Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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