1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize