she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
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Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
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I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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