he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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