Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
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