My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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