I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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