Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
