I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
