my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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