When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Randomize
