look no pants
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
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