she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
