Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
