I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Randomize
