you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
