Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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