this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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