So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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