Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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