Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
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