You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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