no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
