Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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