I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
