Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
