The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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