I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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