Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
