He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Randomize
