Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Michael Bay diarrhea
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
