I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
