cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
