Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Randomize
