I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
