You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
