you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
